The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
