quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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