For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Panties = found
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
