dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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