you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize