You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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