went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
wow bdsm is so cute
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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