how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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