Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
