I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
dude. I can hear the air.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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