I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
