Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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