Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
