My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
