I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We named our party play list daddy issues
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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