Those balls look pretty dangerous.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
