This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
