There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
