Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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