Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize