the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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