If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
