whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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