I am puke
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
