oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
