How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
