okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
