y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
