They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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