he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
