hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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