The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
