I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
