Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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