her vagine was all disorganized.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
