youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
