Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
