he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
