I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
