Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
