We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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