If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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