forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
