I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
