she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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