im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
