I got chris browned last night
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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