It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
