i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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