You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
