Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
