I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
