I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
