i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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