dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
