wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
