I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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