I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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