Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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