i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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