just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
