I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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