So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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