come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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