Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
