you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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